\/\ BEGIN TRANSMISSION /\/
Hey Rebel,
I know — we just limped past Can'tada Day and slid straight into the 4th of July.
Technically, we’re supposed to wave flags on one, watch fireworks on the other, and act like the cage vanished just because they lit a sparkler.
So consider this dispatch a belated celebration — of any holiday that pretends you’re free.
And if you’re wondering how free you really are… there’s a little quiz below.
Answer honestly.
Or ironically.
Either way...
You’re likely already on the GUBERMINT naughty list.
THE GUBERMINT COMPLIANCE QUIZ
(A Quick Audit of Your Alleged Freedom)
ONE. When you hear “Freedom,” you think of:
a) Fireworks over Ottawa / Washington
b) Swapping sourdough for silver
c) A bylaw enforcer you politely ignored last summer
TWO. If your bank account froze tomorrow, you would:
a) File a polite complaint (that goes nowhere)
b) Start a barter ring out of spite
c) Vanish into the boreal forest
THREE. Your preferred Declaration:
a) Independence (with fireworks)
b) Non-Dependence (with ferments)
c) “Come and Take It (Politely).”
FOUR. How do you feel about permits?
a) Necessary for order
b) Mildly entertaining paperwork.
c) Compost material
FIVE. When a new tax gets announced, you:
a) Assume it will fix something (eventually)
b) Double-check the loopholes
c) Start plotting an offshore chicken coop
SIX. The most rebellious thing you’ve done lately:
a) Signed an online petition (and felt accomplished)
b) Collected rainwater without a permit.
c) Bartered soap for ammo behind the curling club
SEVEN. Your ideal July 1st / 4th celebration:
a) BBQ, fireworks, polite conversation
b) Tinfoil hats, silver coins, subversive poetry about the Criminal Revenue Agency (CRA)
c) Raising a “No Trespassing” flag over your garden
\/\/\/\/\/
If you mostly picked B or C — congratulations.
You know that fireworks don’t mean freedom.
And you’re already making your way toward the Exit.
Now let's keep moving,
Paul (Private) 🕇
Chief Examiner of Mildly Dangerous Canadians
TheExitLetter.com
\/\ END TRANSMISSION /\/
P.S.
To unsubscribe:
Bury your phone in a ceremonial hole and hum the national anthem backwards with your elbows up.
P.P.S.
If this lit a fuse:
Forward it to the most dangerous thinker you know.
Bonus points if they:
— Own a HAM radio
— Host secret seed swaps
— Barter without receipts
— Ignore zoning bylaws quietly
— Practice outlawed holistic cures
— Stash silver or contraband coins
— Engage in stealth rainwater harvesting
— Raise backyard ducks, chickens, rabbits, quail or goats without permits
If they tick off even half this list, they’re definitely one of us — and they should already be reading this delightfully naughty, tinfoil-wrapped newsletter.
\/\ BOOST THE SIGNAL /\/
More shares =
sourdough-for-silver markets.
