\/\ BEGIN TRANSMISSION /\/
Hey rebel, we don’t have time to waste.
If you’re reading this, you either:
A) Forgot to unsubscribe (which is how most people accidentally join secret societies).
Or:
B) You're exactly the kind of dangerous thinker they warned me about (and if anyone asks, we’ve never met.)
Either way — the signal found you.
Which means you survived:
— My first ping (that said, “You still out there?”)
— My burnout confession (diagnosis: 'non-compliance fatigue')
— That bit about “fun being rebellious”
— The kale bunker rumor (not entirely false)
If that weirded you out — buckle up.
This isn't a sanctioned broadcast.
It’s a smuggled exit plan — shrink-wrapped in sarcasm and sealed inside an irresponsible amount of tinfoil. Starting now (unless the MINISTRY jams the signal), I’ll be transmitting three non-compliant Dispatches a week:
Monday.
Wednesday.
Friday.
At 10:42 ET.
(That’s Exit Time, obviously — or Eastern Subversive Time, depending on your 'orientation.')
What am I smuggling into your inbox? Practical acts of resistance.
I call it contraband:
— A tool (for carving exits where there aren't supposed to be any)
— A microexit (so subtle, they’ll never see you leave)
— A theory too reasonable to be legal
— Or a laugh that blows a fuse in The System
Some days, just a flashlight and a warning:
Don’t go that way. It’s mostly paperwork and regret.
It might trigger a smirk, a spark, or a sideways escape. Could be mischief. Could be momentum. But it always points toward the exit they swear doesn’t exist.
Meet Your Guide (Regrettably, Me)
I’m no 'guru' or 'savior' — I'm just the fool reckless enough to chart this path publicly — without a disguise, a permit, or adult supervision (don’t tell my mom).
I’m not here to sell you hope and bumper stickers.
(Leave that to the politicians — they’ll promise you the moon, then invoice you for the ladder.)
My promise?
I’ll take you right to the edge of The System and say:
“That’s the way out. The door’s a little jammed — but it opens.”
Oh — And In Case I Vanish (Again):
It won’t be burnout.
It’ll be sabotage.
Possibly foul play.
Maybe a bad batch of homegrown sprouts.
(Or all three — if the week goes sideways.)
So keep tuning in — you know the schedule.
And rebel — if you're still reading this?
You're not a reader.
You're not a follower.
You're a co-conspirator with dangerously good instincts and questionable taste in newsletters.
Now let’s keep moving — before the drones pick up the signal.
Paul (Private) 🕇
Chief Cartographer of Questionable Paths
TheExitLetter.com
\/\ END TRANSMISSION /\/
P.S. To Opt Out of Future Transmissions:
Simply construct a Faraday cage out of compost bins, discarded election signs, and denial.
Results may vary.
\/\ BOOST THE SIGNAL /\/
Pass along — keep the co-conspirators close.
